397. The bug zapper!
Dad bought us each a bug zapper, well, it's not really a bug zapper. It's more like an ancient chinese bug torture system. What it does is, it attracts them bugs with the really "seductive" (Hey! If the insects think they're seductive, then they are! To each their own) UV lamp. When the bug flies near the lamp, the gale force suction of the fan will suck it into a holding cell below. There, they'll be held without food/fluid/blood until they dehydrate and die. Kinky. Because I'm an insect lover, I'd much prefer the bug zapper. I think it's much more "humane" to use the bug zapper.
"The light, it's so pretty..........KAPOW!" end of story!
With this current system
"The light, it's so pretty...........whooosh!"
"Wha the! How did I end up in here?"
"Omigosh! There are carcasses everywhere! They're all shriveled up!"
"Help!!!!!! Lemme out of here!"
4 days later......
"I'm still alive, someone please save me!"
a day later......
Singing to Bananarama's Help!
"Help! I need somebody
Help! Not just anybody
Help! You know I need someone
Help!
When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
And now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the door
(chorus)
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
Down down down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
'Round 'round 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Ground ground ground
Won't you please, please help me
Pete, look, I think I'm a bit toppy.
And I'm a bit bottomy, Pete.
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like I've never done before
(chorus)
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
HELP!
And I do appreciate you being 'round
HELP!
Help me get my feet back on the ground
HELP!
Won't you please, please help me
They're gonna take the Bananas off 'ere aren't they ?
Yeah. They're just doing backing vocals. We're singing the medley.
Well, we better be. Otherwise there'll be trouble.
Hm, hm !
When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
And now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the door
(chorus)
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
Down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
'Round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Ground
Won't you please, please help me
Help me, help me, Ooh"
Yet another day later........
Singing to Wilson Phillips' Release Me
"I know that its time for a change
Mmm but when that change comes
Will you still feel the same?
How many times have I tried to turn this love around?
I dont want to give up
But baby its time I had two feet on the ground
Can you release me
Can you release me
Now that youre gone I cant help myself from wondering
Oh, if youd have come down from your high
Would weve been all right?
Release me
Can you release me
Chorus:
Come on baby, come on baby
You knew it was time to just let go
cause we want to be free
But somehow its just not that easy
Come on darlin, hear me darlin
cause youre a waste of time for me
Im trying to make you see
That baby youve just got to release me
Release me
Release me
Im not going back to you anymore
Finally my weakened heart is healing though very slow
So stop coming around my door
cause youre not gonna find
What youre looking for
(chorus)
What is this power youve got on me
What is this power, oh
What is it,what is it
(chorus)
Release me
Will you release me
Ah...release me
Will you release me"
Finally, there's silence and the poor little bugger dies......
Dad bought us each a bug zapper, well, it's not really a bug zapper. It's more like an ancient chinese bug torture system. What it does is, it attracts them bugs with the really "seductive" (Hey! If the insects think they're seductive, then they are! To each their own) UV lamp. When the bug flies near the lamp, the gale force suction of the fan will suck it into a holding cell below. There, they'll be held without food/fluid/blood until they dehydrate and die. Kinky. Because I'm an insect lover, I'd much prefer the bug zapper. I think it's much more "humane" to use the bug zapper.
"The light, it's so pretty..........KAPOW!" end of story!
With this current system
"The light, it's so pretty...........whooosh!"
"Wha the! How did I end up in here?"
"Omigosh! There are carcasses everywhere! They're all shriveled up!"
"Help!!!!!! Lemme out of here!"
4 days later......
"I'm still alive, someone please save me!"
a day later......
Singing to Bananarama's Help!
"Help! I need somebody
Help! Not just anybody
Help! You know I need someone
Help!
When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
And now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the door
(chorus)
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
Down down down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
'Round 'round 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Ground ground ground
Won't you please, please help me
Pete, look, I think I'm a bit toppy.
And I'm a bit bottomy, Pete.
And now my life has changed in oh so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like I've never done before
(chorus)
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
HELP!
And I do appreciate you being 'round
HELP!
Help me get my feet back on the ground
HELP!
Won't you please, please help me
They're gonna take the Bananas off 'ere aren't they ?
Yeah. They're just doing backing vocals. We're singing the medley.
Well, we better be. Otherwise there'll be trouble.
Hm, hm !
When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
And now those days are gone, I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind, I've opened up the door
(chorus)
Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
Down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
'Round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Ground
Won't you please, please help me
Help me, help me, Ooh"
Yet another day later........
Singing to Wilson Phillips' Release Me
"I know that its time for a change
Mmm but when that change comes
Will you still feel the same?
How many times have I tried to turn this love around?
I dont want to give up
But baby its time I had two feet on the ground
Can you release me
Can you release me
Now that youre gone I cant help myself from wondering
Oh, if youd have come down from your high
Would weve been all right?
Release me
Can you release me
Chorus:
Come on baby, come on baby
You knew it was time to just let go
cause we want to be free
But somehow its just not that easy
Come on darlin, hear me darlin
cause youre a waste of time for me
Im trying to make you see
That baby youve just got to release me
Release me
Release me
Im not going back to you anymore
Finally my weakened heart is healing though very slow
So stop coming around my door
cause youre not gonna find
What youre looking for
(chorus)
What is this power youve got on me
What is this power, oh
What is it,what is it
(chorus)
Release me
Will you release me
Ah...release me
Will you release me"
Finally, there's silence and the poor little bugger dies......
Damn, and all I wanted was a bug zapper!
___________________________
My Random Thots:
Before I get emails or comments telling me what a sensitive soul I am and all. And how I care so much for the wellbeing of insects and all. Lemme clarify, I'm bitter ok! I just want to have the thrill of seeing them bbqed instantly! Instant gratification I tell u! Now, I get this thing that not only tortures the bloody insects, it tortures me too. I just wanna see them burn......NOW!
My Random Thots:
Before I get emails or comments telling me what a sensitive soul I am and all. And how I care so much for the wellbeing of insects and all. Lemme clarify, I'm bitter ok! I just want to have the thrill of seeing them bbqed instantly! Instant gratification I tell u! Now, I get this thing that not only tortures the bloody insects, it tortures me too. I just wanna see them burn......NOW!
4 comments:
what can i say but...ROTFL?
you should write the sequel to "a bug's life"
hong, u have too much time on your hands ... to ponder about what goes on in bug's brains (that's if they have any!)
T
Errr, I hope ppl from Pixar or Disney are listening. Heh heh
T, it doesn't take long to figure out what goes on in an insect's miniscule brain la (or lack thereof, as u aptly pointed out).
Anyway, I say it's a good way to spend a couple of minutes of my friday evening. Heh heh.
ha ha ha... this is cool. you should give'em names, boy.
and i must say, spectacular contraption. but i do think that if you do not clean the 'holding area' often, it may invite ants...
Post a Comment