605. Life......
Well, it's been a month since I've updated my blog. Nothing worthwhile to update, just been pondering on the meaning of it all. You know, those moments when you're just lying on the bed staring at the ceiling as if it's a window to the unfathomable. I'd hate to find out the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything really is simply "42".
Anyway, many events transpired in the pass mth. Some are just what the moments on the bed staring at the ceiling was about. Some deep, some are just plain "kiss-my-ass-get-over-yourself-already" fillers.
Well, it's been a month since I've updated my blog. Nothing worthwhile to update, just been pondering on the meaning of it all. You know, those moments when you're just lying on the bed staring at the ceiling as if it's a window to the unfathomable. I'd hate to find out the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything really is simply "42".
Anyway, many events transpired in the pass mth. Some are just what the moments on the bed staring at the ceiling was about. Some deep, some are just plain "kiss-my-ass-get-over-yourself-already" fillers.
Cacti flowers that bloom once a year
St. Patrick's Day @ Soho
Sam's baby's full moon party @ QE2
TN visiting with her fiancee EM
Penang Hill with Ando San & Yippie San; They finally reopened the canopy walk :)
the 2nd time cheng beng with just WS & WW
Guiness Black Challenge @ QE2, WW taking a shot at speed pool
Yippie posing with a mag featuring a car tuned by Ando San; Playing with fire of course
Chilling in Langkawi with Ando San
Eagle feeding
Go Kart racing complete with timed laps
On the way back to the hotel; Ran out of fuel
Back to the kandang
Durian session @ Balik Pulau
Finally decided to purchase my first ever 4 door car, the Volvo S40
I thot I've spent my life treading carefully, trying to keep life simple, but it seems that that's not what life has in store for me. Since the beginning, I remember setting simple goals in life:
Try not to wet my bed at nite
Try not to tie shoe laces wrongly
Try not to enter the wrong classroom
Try not to get red marks on my report card
Try not to be the slow poke at "kah li toi"
Try not to be the last one to complete the 1500M PE Test
Then we grow up a little and set more serious goals.............
Get into a good Uni
Get lai.......I mean get a good girlfriend
Get a good career
And then as you ferment...err....grow yet older, we set higher goals still..............
Own a decent set of wheels before 30
Be a good bf (bullfrog)
Retire by 40
yadda yadda yadda
Well, those are the goals (not a comprehensive list of course) that I once set up to achieve. Simple & straight forward. Not complicated. Being young and naive (not now la, back then...or rather wayyyyyy back then!), I use to think life was just that, simple. I mean how complicated can it be. The world goes on with or without me, I'm just an average Joe cruising along life's highway, trying my best not to attract the attention of the police.
But alas, that's not meant to be. Early hopes and dreams were dashed (thru no fault of others but myself), when I screwed up college. But recovered from that and moved on. Uni was fine. Then came relationships, seriously, how hard can it be? I found out the hard way, or should I say, I found out I'm rather hard to get along with (but I'll take 55% of the blame). There's a lesson in every failed relationship, so again, moved on. I don't understand why the ladies find window shopping so amusing. I'd rather not look if I can't afford it.
Anyway, then came work, Ok, this one I expected to suck big time! And suck it did, the bloody life out of me. But then as you grow wiser, you realise that there's a reason why we were all put thru hell. The overused cliche, "Some day you'll thank me for it" seems to ring more true everyday. So again, you accept the fact and move on.
Then there's the whole issue of religion. I thought I've found the 1 true God that can fulfill the void in my life. After much soul searching and drama, I realised that the void is still void. to quote Pascal, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus”. Strangely, I realised the void (at least in my heart) isn't God shaped at all. I don't recognize the shape yet, but at certain angles, it looks family-ish, from another it looks friend-ish and yet other angles looks car-ish and sometimes, it's just a big black hole that sucks.......(hmmm, there's a recurring theme here). Yet again, I move on.
Now that I've got most of the things sorted out. Life seems comfortable, but yet there are things that keep creeping up on me. Powers that be, that just won't let me be. No matter how hard I try, there's bound to be mistakes made, words wrongly said and foot wrongly set. Who doesn't want a simple life with simple choices? But life is a string of events that's weaved with other people's life and ultimately form a big tangled ball of yarn. Not the nicely spun, fresh ball of yarn from the factory, no no, this is a big, messy, tangled ball of old, dirty, stained yarn.
Ironic, you set out wanting a simple life, yet a simple life isn't fulfilling. The very fact that I'm setting goals makes life that much complicated.
____________________________
My Ranfom Thots:
You care for someone, but you wonder if they care about you too. Not that I'd expect the same, but sometimes I do wonder. Would they care when they don't "need" me anymore? Sadly, I have 3 examples that says no, they won't.....yet, like a moth to a flame.
Saving the cheer leader doesn't mean saving the world.
Try not to wet my bed at nite
Try not to tie shoe laces wrongly
Try not to enter the wrong classroom
Try not to get red marks on my report card
Try not to be the slow poke at "kah li toi"
Try not to be the last one to complete the 1500M PE Test
Then we grow up a little and set more serious goals.............
Get into a good Uni
Get lai.......I mean get a good girlfriend
Get a good career
And then as you ferment...err....grow yet older, we set higher goals still..............
Own a decent set of wheels before 30
Be a good bf (bullfrog)
Retire by 40
yadda yadda yadda
Well, those are the goals (not a comprehensive list of course) that I once set up to achieve. Simple & straight forward. Not complicated. Being young and naive (not now la, back then...or rather wayyyyyy back then!), I use to think life was just that, simple. I mean how complicated can it be. The world goes on with or without me, I'm just an average Joe cruising along life's highway, trying my best not to attract the attention of the police.
But alas, that's not meant to be. Early hopes and dreams were dashed (thru no fault of others but myself), when I screwed up college. But recovered from that and moved on. Uni was fine. Then came relationships, seriously, how hard can it be? I found out the hard way, or should I say, I found out I'm rather hard to get along with (but I'll take 55% of the blame). There's a lesson in every failed relationship, so again, moved on. I don't understand why the ladies find window shopping so amusing. I'd rather not look if I can't afford it.
Anyway, then came work, Ok, this one I expected to suck big time! And suck it did, the bloody life out of me. But then as you grow wiser, you realise that there's a reason why we were all put thru hell. The overused cliche, "Some day you'll thank me for it" seems to ring more true everyday. So again, you accept the fact and move on.
Then there's the whole issue of religion. I thought I've found the 1 true God that can fulfill the void in my life. After much soul searching and drama, I realised that the void is still void. to quote Pascal, “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus”. Strangely, I realised the void (at least in my heart) isn't God shaped at all. I don't recognize the shape yet, but at certain angles, it looks family-ish, from another it looks friend-ish and yet other angles looks car-ish and sometimes, it's just a big black hole that sucks.......(hmmm, there's a recurring theme here). Yet again, I move on.
Now that I've got most of the things sorted out. Life seems comfortable, but yet there are things that keep creeping up on me. Powers that be, that just won't let me be. No matter how hard I try, there's bound to be mistakes made, words wrongly said and foot wrongly set. Who doesn't want a simple life with simple choices? But life is a string of events that's weaved with other people's life and ultimately form a big tangled ball of yarn. Not the nicely spun, fresh ball of yarn from the factory, no no, this is a big, messy, tangled ball of old, dirty, stained yarn.
Ironic, you set out wanting a simple life, yet a simple life isn't fulfilling. The very fact that I'm setting goals makes life that much complicated.
____________________________
My Ranfom Thots:
You care for someone, but you wonder if they care about you too. Not that I'd expect the same, but sometimes I do wonder. Would they care when they don't "need" me anymore? Sadly, I have 3 examples that says no, they won't.....yet, like a moth to a flame.
Saving the cheer leader doesn't mean saving the world.
